Payback is a witch!
by Tiffsababe
Summary: Just a little ditty about Lester and what happens when you tick off the wrong person. Paybacks are a witch!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own nor do I profit from Janet's characters.

**Lester's POV**

The last thing I remembered was feeling a prick on my arm and then nothing. Now after waking up, I'm bound, gagged and stuffed into a tiny box. What the hell happened to me? I know I had finished my surveilance shift and had gone back to my apartment. I changed out of my uniform and was watching basketball on TV when I heard a knock at my door. I remember opening it, but nothing after that. What the hell?

Now it was getting a little difficult to breath in this box. Where are the air holes? Damn, I have to take a leak. Why does this crap always happen to me? My mind was racing, until I heard muffled murmuring coming from outside the box. I shifted myself a little to place my ear on the side of the box, but it did no good. The sound didn't get any clearer. All of a sudden the box began to move. Holy, Crap! It's on wheels. Where are they taking me? Wait a minute... where am I in the first place? After what seemed like forever, the box stood still.

I breathed a temporary sigh of relief before the box began to sway. Crap! Now we're in a vehicle, where are we going? We drove for a little while before we stopped. I sat in that box, for what seemed an eternity. The feeling of being moved down a ramp and across a flat surface made me finally lose my cool. Where the hell am I and who did I piss off to deserve this kind of treatment? I couldn't think of anything I may have said or done to Ranger to piss him off lately. Or any of the guys, as a matter of fact. The only one I have teased or ticked off was... OH GOD! NO! Please no!

I paled and began to sweat profusely. Crap! I pissed off Beautiful last week and she vowed to get revenge. Is this her revenge? I am so dead meat. The sound of music thumping in the background made me pause to listen. Yep, that's a good club beat. Wait! Why is there music? Oh, crap! I'm not liking this situation more and more as time goes by. What does she have up her sleeve? I rested my forehead against the box and took a deep breath to calm myself. Huh! It smells like cake.

The sound of a familiar song made it's way into my little box. At the end I could hear people clapping, and then I was moved again, but only a short distance. I could hear clapping and shouting. What the hell is going on? I could feel the sweat from my face rolling down my chest. Wait, how can I feel that? The ralization hit me like a ton of bricks. OH MY GOD! I'M NAKED! I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed this was not Beautiful's revenge. All of a sudden I felt the bottom of the box squeezing my upward. I pushed against the top and was pushed through.

The rush of cold air on my skin felt good, until I heard thee gasps and then eventual screams of a bunch of women. I turned around to see 30 women staring at me as if I were chocolate cake. I looked down to find that I had been carefully wrapped with a big red ribbon, thankfully, strategic places had been covered. Whew! I heard Beautiful's voice over the loudspeaker of the club we were in, "Happy birthday Grandma Mazur! I hope you liked what I picked out for you." I raised my eyes in horror to see Edna Mazur making her way across the dancefloor to me. I tried desperately to wriggle out of the ribbon and ropes, but to no avail.

"Ain't that a pip! My Grandbaby went and got me my very own MerryMan! And he's a hot one too. Check out his package!" I think I fainted because the next thing I know, Bobby's taking my pulse and waving smelling salts under my nose.

"Oh, god! I had the worst dream ever. I dreamed I was kidnapped by Beautiful and stuffed into a box. I popped out and she gave me to Grandma Mazur as a birthday gift." I closed my eyes and rested my head on the cool floor beneath me.

"Santos!" I jumped to attention at the sound of Ranger's voice. The smirk on his face was unnerving, so I looked down. In total shock, I saw myself still wrapped in the big red ribbon. The ropes had been cut away, but the ribbon which was keeping me modest, remained. I was covered in some type of baked good and frosting, it smelled wonderful, but felt horrible. "Edna's waiting for her gift to take her to dinner."

"Sir." I replied, trying not to pass out again.

"Come on Hottie. Let's roll. You can clean up at my place." Grandma stated and grabbed my hand leading me out of the club.

**Ranger's POV**

"Babe. That was pure evil."

"Thanks. I try." Steph smiled as she waved goodbye to an obviously pissed Lester.

"Where in the world did you come up with this one?" I asked, brushing my finger along the nape of her neck.

"I've still got connections at the Tasty Pastry. Hugo baked me one of those hollow cakes that women usually jumpout of. Only this one we had to enlarge it so Les could fit. I had Bobby help me stick him with the sedative, and Hector and I wrapped Les up."

"Hector, Babe?" I grinned.

"I needed someone to wrap up his doodles." She grinned, "I wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole." I laughed so hard I think I saw stars.

After getting myself back under control I asked my Babe, "You promise me sonething?" I wrapped her into a massive hug, face to face.

"Anything." She answered as she nuzzled my neck.

"Let me jump out of the cake for your birthday?"

"OH BOY!"

A/N: Thanks for letting me share this little ditty with you. Today is my birthday and I couldn't get this idea out of my head. It was just too good. I hope what transpired in my head was able to be translated onto paper, well in this case the computer screen effectively. Besides, who wouldn't want Lester to pop out of a cake for their birthday? Yummy!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own nor do I profit from Janet's characters.**

**A/N: Okay, so I know I originally intended this to be a one shot, but after all the reviews and talking to my friends who read it, I figured I should elaborate as to why Les was "given" to Grandma as a gift for her birthday. It took me a while to come up with something the was devilishly clever and sounded like something Les would do. I hope you like it. ***Warning*** If you have a strong gag reflex, maybe reading this chapter won't be your cup of tea.**

**Chapter 2:**

Okay, I guess you're wondering what the Lester did to make me do such an evil thing. It's not like he pulled a simple practical joke. NO WAY! He had to pull several all in one day. You all very well know that I have a conscience. I have Good Stephanie and Bad Stephanie, and at times they like to battle it out. Well after the pranks Lester pulled, let's just say Good Stephanie decided to dust off her little devil's horns, ditched her halo and joined the dark side. Mua ha ha ha!

It all started on Monday night, I finished eating lunch in the break room and had walked over to the trashcan to toss my garbage. A wad of paper thrown in my direction made me freeze and watch it bank off of the wall into the can.

"Three points!" I heard from down the hall. My head turned to see both Lester and Vince holding more wads of paper in their hands. "Hey, Beautiful! Wanna be the score keeper?"

"Lester, aren't you supposed to be helping Brett on a take down?" I asked, eying the wads of paper suspiciously.

"Canceled, the skip turned up at St. Francis with mulitple gunshots to his knees. Not like he's going to be running any time soon." He tossed another paper wad into the trashcan. "Three points."

"Les, are you insane?" I stood with my hands on my hips, "If Ranger sees you, you're going to get called to the mats." Vince paled slightly.

"I can take it." He gave me his heart stopping lopsided grin. "Hey, we're going out tomorrow night to Slice. Wanna come?"

I had heard about the club Slice, it was brand new and was the talk of the town. From what I heard, the waiting list to get in was longer than my arm. "Isn't it hard to get in?"

He winked and answered, "We do security for them. We can get in anytime." I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Fine. Who all is going?" I tried to get more info out of him.

"Vince, Binkie, Cal, Hal, Bobby, Woody and me of course."

"I guess. But I get to bring Lula and Connie." I tried to barter their entry as well.

"Done." He grinned. "I'll pick you up at 2100 tomorrow. Wear something sexy."

The next morning, I found a thick manila envelope sitting on top of my keyboard of my computer. I looked around nervously and scanned the cubicles around me. I picked it up and examined it, noting the unfamiliar handwritten lettering. It was addressed to me, at Rangeman, but no postmark. Okay, that was screwy. Now I knew that someone at work had hand delivered it to my desk. I shrugged my shoulders when I made the fatal mistake to assume that it would be an innocuous packet of papers.

I set my pocketbook on the floor and slid it under my desk. I placed my gun, stun gun and cuffs into the top drawer in my desk, and settled into my comfy chair. I turned on my computer and as I waited for it to boot up, I began to open my envelope. I managed to get it almost all the way open when I heard Cal call over the top of my cubicle for me. "Bomber!"

I dropped the envelope onto the desk and popped my head up to look over the top of the cubicle. "Yeah."

I saw Cal's head pop up and give me a wide grin. "Morning. You get your coffee yet?" I shook my head. He reached over to hand me a cup of coffee. "I made it how you like it."

A smile covered my face, "Thanks, I was running late this morning." I took a hesitant sip, finding it the perfect temperature and perfect in taste. I sighed happily, "You are a god!"

"Forget calling me Cal anymore, just call me God!" He teased.

I rolled my eyes and before I popped my head back down, I replied. "What ever God! Get back to work. And thanks!" I plopped back down into my chair and finished my coffee before I remembered my envelope. I set my mug down, picked the envelope back up and finished opening it. I pulled the envelope open to peer inside only to hear a loud bang and I was temporarily blinded. My startled scream brought every man within earshot running.

"Bomber, you alright?" I heard, knowing the voice belonged to Hal.

"No! What the hell is going on? I can't see!" I blindly swung my hands around trying to find something familiar. I felt a well muscled chest clad in a t-shirt, as the back of my neck tingled. "Ranger?"

"Babe. Stay still, Bobby's coming with an eye kit. Sit still." I complied, but it was difficult due to the fact my eyes stung and they watered like crazy. A few seconds later I could hear running in the hall and Bobby's voice came through loud and clear.

"Bomber. Stay still. I'm going to get this set up and have you wash your eyes out, Okay?" I nodded and he sighed, "I told you to stay still."

"Sorry." A minuted later Bobby had me lean my face forward and I felt a warm liquid flush over my face and eyes. I started to protest after it began to hurt more, but Bobby held my hand and told me it was almost over. Bobby finally pressed a towel to my face after we finished flushing my eyes.

"Bomber, I want you to slowly pen your eyes and allow me to check them out."

"Alright." I began to open my eyes slowly, it hurt like hell, but thankfully I could see. "I can see." I grinned until I looked at my hands. The were blue. Blue? "Bobby? I think my eyes are damaged. My hands look blue." I could not rip my eyes away from my hands, it was scary.

"Babe, they're not damaged. The envelope you opened had a dye packet in it. When you opened the envelope, it exploded." I sat there in horror. I jumped to me feet and ran for the bathroom. I soon found myself standing in front of the mirror, stunned beyond belief. I was blue. I mean all over blue. Like all in my hair, all over my face, all over my hands. I was smurf blue. The shriek that erupted from my lips made Ranger run to my side in an instant. I was pretty sure he had been standing outside the bathroom waiting on my reaction.

"Babe. It's okay. Bobby has a solvent that will remove it." He wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly. I sighed and dropped my head onto his chest.

"I'm a smurf! How can you love a smurf?"

He chuckled and answered. "If you think about it Smurfette lived with 99 other smurfs and all of them were men. You're kind of like her. You're the only woman to work with Rangeman. So, in a round about way, with your coloring, that makes you the Rangeman Smurfette." I wailed into his chest, not liking his logic one bit. I wiped my eyes with a paper towel and found that the dye was coming off on it. I looked to Ranger's shirt and found big blue face prints on the front.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you all blue." He sighed and patted my back.

"Babe. I'll live."

After I was escorted to seven to shower, I changed into a pair of sweats and one of Ranger's t-shirts. Ranger led me down to Bobby's office and spent the next four hours having my body scrubbed clean with the solvent. The skin was easy, wipe the solvent on and wipe it off, along with most of the blue. My hair on the other hand, was much more difficult. It took nearly two and a half hours to get it clean. I sighed as I stepped out of the elevator on seven, hell bent on eating a peanut butter and olive sandwich for lunch.

I removed the jar of peanut butter from the kitchen cabinet and the jar of olives from the refrigerator. The loaf of whole wheat that sat in the bread keeper was pulled free. I began to assemble my sandwich and froze after opening the jar of peanut butter. Instead of the nutty goo I was used to, I found what looked like window caulking in it's place. "What the hell?" I searched the cabinets for more peanut butter but found none. Frustrated, I grabbed the jar of green olives, tugged the lid open and stuck my fingers in bringing out what I thought was an olive. I looked down to find the 'olive' looking back at me. "WHAT THE HELL?" I dropped the supposed olive and the jar onto the kitchen floor. The jar shattered leaving pieces of glass everywhere. So there I was standing in the middle of Ranger's kitchen surrounded by shards of glass, fake eyeballs, and olive brine. To make matters worse, I was barefoot.

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and dialed a familiar number. "Babe."

"Uh, I need a little help."

"Another dye packet?" I could hear the smile in his voice.

"NO!" I shouted, before I calmed myself. "I dropped a jar in the kitchen, it broke and now there's little pieces of glass everywhere."

"Babe. You need help cleaning it up?"

"No. I need someone to come get me. I'm barefoot." I could almost hear his sigh through the phone. I imagined him pinching the bridge of his nose as he gathered his thoughts to speak.

"I'll be there in 2." I opened my mouth to respond, but quickly realized that he had hung up on me. Damn! Did his mother ever teach him proper phone etiquette?

One minute and thirty seconds later, I was still standing waiting for Ranger when I heard the lock tumble and the door open. He waltzed in and grinned. "Babe. Batman to the rescue again." He walked over to me, glass crunching under his boots as he walked. He scooped me up into his arms and carried me to the couch, setting me on it gently. "What happened?"

"I was trying to make myself a sandwich and someone replaced my peanut butter with caulking, and the olives with rubber eyeballs. It scared me and I dropped the jar." I dropped my chin to my chest and desperately tried not to cry. "I'm sorry. First I made a mess of my cubicle with the dye packet, and now you have glass and rubber eyeballs all over your kitchen."

"Babe. I think I can handle novelty eyeballs and a little broken glass. As for the dye packet, it was a little more sinister. I've got the men working on it right now." I smiled and nodded.

"Thanks. I just need to get this cleaned up." I rose to my feet and tugged on my shoes. Ranger helped me sweep up the glass and thorough cleaning of the floor and carpets to make sure there were no stray shards or slivers that would find our feet at any time in the future.

I sighed and Ranger allowed me to make my way down to the break room to grab a sandwich. I still had three hour before I clocked out, so I stared at the stack of search requests that Rodriguez left at my new temporary desk. Lester and Cal found their ways over and soon found themselves leaning against it waiting on me. "Hey, Beautiful. Hard morning?" He asked, concern filled his face.

"You have no idea. First the dye packet blows up in my face, and then just a little bit ago someone broke into Ranger's apartment and messed with my sandwich stuff." I cross my arms over my chest. I explained what had happened and both Les and Cal looked as if they were going to bust someone's lips open for pulling the practical jokes that went horribly, horribly wrong.

"Bomber. We'll keep you safe tonight. I promise." Cal crossed his chest with his fingers and held up his right hand.

"Les, will you keep me safe?" I asked batting my lashes at him.

"Of course Beautiful. I won't let anything bad happen to you." He leaned in and kissed the top of my head.

"Santos!" I head Ranger bark from behind them. Both Cal and Les straightened up and left my temporary cubicle quickly, leaving me to work on my searches.

After I finished out my work day, I trudged back downstairs to the garage, got into my newest POS car and prayed to God it would start. Unfortunately, he answered my prayers and it started, with a giant cloud of black smoke. I put it into gear and drove the ten minutes it takes to get back home. I began to get excited. I was going to to a brand new club and I needed to look smoking hot.

I showered and scrubbed my skin until it was pink. I washed and conditioned my hair, rinsing just before I got out. I towel dried off and slipped into a pair of boxers and a button up shirt. I worked a fair amount of Mr. Alexander's magic serum into my hair and just about jumped for joy to find it laying in neat curls framing my face perfectly. I applied my make up, smokey and sultry would work, and applied a double layer of my waterproof mascara.

Finding the perfect outfit in the closet was another story. I worked at it for over an hour before I decided to wear one of my distraction dresses. It was a black sequined halter dress, open in the back, plunging neckline and it fell to just above my knees. I slipped it on and found a pair of 5 inch black sequined FMP's to match. I surveyed myself in the mirror to apply my lipstick. I dropped my phone, my keys, my pepper spray, a pair of cuffs, my ID and $50 into my black sequined clutch just as the knock sounded at my door. I looked to find that it was 2059 and I giggled, knowing Lester hated to be late.

Opening the door, I found the most handsome version of Lester I had ever seen standing at my door. "Hey, Beautiful. You look stunning." He grinned and wrapped me into a hug.

"Thanks Les. You look pretty hot too." I patted his shoulder to get him to release me. "You ready to go?"

"Let's head out. Connie and Lula are supposed to meet us there." I locked up behind me and we walked down the stairs to the parking lot.

We made our way to the club and found both Lula and Connie flanked by the other guys. Vince, Binkie, Hal, Cal and Bobby looked like they were good enough to eat and the girls looked like they were about to find out, just as we pulled up. We greeted each other and made our way into the club. Lester led the way and waved to the bouncer at the door, he pulled the velvet rope aside letting our group in. The looks on the faces of the people in mine made me smirk. Take that! I get into a club that they had to wait for. Ha!

Les led us back to the VIP section and found the owner of the club patiently waiting on us. "Welcome to Slice." He waved his hand in a grand manner. "Mr. Santos, I have your requested table ready and waiting." He led us back a little ways until we climbed a staircase to the second level. We found our table surrounded by the who's who of Trenton society. We ordered our drinks and sat back to take in the club scene.

A techno beat had just finished, it remained quiet for a moment until a very familiar song began. I grabbed Lula and Connie's hands and ran down the stairs to the dance floor. We began to dance to Bon Jovi's It's My Life , and soon found ourselves surrounded by the guys. I was sandwiched between Cal and Hal, Connie was between Vince and Binkie, and Lula was between Les and Bobby. I thought I had died and gone to heaven as we did the bump and grind, pumping our fists into the air with the music.

Several songs and partners later, we trudged back up to our table and began to suck down our drinks. I noticed that Woody had inhaled his beer from his long neck bottle and set it next to him protectively. "What 'cha doing?" I asked him as he pulled out a round plastic container from the back pocket of his jeans.

"Dip." I wrinkled my nose at the mention of the tobacco.

"Ranger allows you to do that?" I asked, disgusted that he would use that stuff.

"What he doesn't know, won't hurt him." He joked as he forced a pinch of the shredded tobacco in between his cheek and gum. He spit a couple of times into the empty bottle and set it back down. I wrinkled my nose again and forced myself to look away. The waitress came again a little while later and we ordered more beers and shots of tequila. She came back ten minutes later and unloaded her tray onto our table.

I took a swig of mine and pulled Cal onto the dance floor for a slow song. Three songs later, I made my way back to the table and drank from my beer, quenching my thirst. I had forgotten how hot these clubs could get in the summer. I relaxed and cooled off by ordering another beer. After I drank a long swig, everyone returned to the table, hot and thirsty. I sat back on the comfortable couch and leaned against Les, placing my head on his shoulder.

"Having fun, Beautiful?"

"Yeah. This place is pretty cool." I answered, I sat up to grab my drink but caught my heel on the edge of the couch and fumbled a little. Les leaned forward and after a second of reaching for the table, he helped me untangle my heel from the fabric. I leaned forward and grabbed my beer bottle. Connie was asking Cal and Hal about their time in the Navy, when I took a big swig from my bottle. I stopped dead in my tracks, unable to swallow, or move, or talk. Somehow, I had grabbed Woody's spit bottle and had taken a huge gulp. I was pretty sure I had turned green. Finally after what seemed like forever, I spit the foul liquid onto the floor and gagged.

The looks from the people around me made me want to shrivel up and die. "What's the matter, Bomber?" Hal asked, disgusted.

I pointed to the bottle and Cal grabbed it, taking a sniff. He dropped it onto the table and slugged Woody in the shoulder.

"Damn it man! She just drank from your spit bottle."

Both Lula and Connie paled and said in unison, "Ewww!" I grabbed a bottle of water off of a tray from a passing waitress and rinsed my mouth out spitting the water into my real beer bottle. I chugged the remainder of the water and gagged again, luckily I didn't spew chunks.

The only person who thought it was somewhat amusing was Lester. "Beautiful, you're a trip. Next time, you need to pay attention to what bottle you pick up." I turned to look at him and almost rolled my eyes. "His has a torn label, yours doesn't."

I looked down at the table and surveyed it closely. All the bottles now had torn labels, in the same exact way that Woody's spit bottle was. Mind you, I was still trying to hold down the contents of my stomach. I replied, "Les, which bottle is Woody's chew bottle?"

He grinned and pointed to one near me. "That one."

"How did it get near me? Woody is clear across the table." He grinned and shrugged his shoulders.

"It grew legs and walked over there." I glared at him. He chuckled and under his breath he added, "And maybe some eyeballs too." I froze and my eyes grew wide as saucers. I turned my body to his and almost flung myself at him.

In a deadly calm voice, I asked him, "What did you just say?" Everyone else at the table grew silent and watched in sick fascination at the drama before them. Les grinned sheepishly and tried to say something, but failed miserably, no sound would come out of his mouth. "Did you just say something about eyeballs?" I could feel the anger rising in me. It started at my toes and worked its way upwards, until it was all the way to the top of my head and trying to burst forth.

"Beautiful." Les regained his voice, and worked himself up onto his feet, holding his hands out in defense. I rose to my feet along with him and stalked towards him, like a lion eying her prey. "They were all practical jokes. You weren't meant to get hurt in any of them. They were innocent."

"INNOCENT!" I screeched, making everyone on the whole top floor of the club freeze. "YOU SENT ME A DYE PACKET THAT EXPLODED COVERING ME IN BLUE DYE!" I backed him up against a wall, my finger poking into his chest. "YOU MADE ME LOOK LIKE SMURFETTE!"

He grinned and jokingly stated, "The solvent took care of that. Besides, I always thought Smurfette was hot."

"AND YOU MESSED WITH MY PEANUT BUTTER AND OLIVES. I DROPPED THE JAR AND WAS SURROUNDED BY BROKEN GLASS WITH NO SHOES ON. I HAD TO CALL RANGER TO COME SAVE ME. AGAIN! AND I SUPPOSE WOODY'S BOTTLE GREW LEGS AND WALKED OVER TO MY SIDE OF THE TABLE?" I poked him in the chest again, this time harder. "YOU ARE SO DEAD MISTER. I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU WISH YOU WERE DEAD. I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU CALL FOR YOUR MOMMY." I narrowed my eyes at him, lowered my voice so only he could hear, "I'm going to make you wish you never pissed me off, Les."

He grew quite pale with the last statement, swallowed hard and gave a nervous smile.

"I'm sorry, Beautiful."

"You sure are sorry. You're going to pay Lester. Paybacks are a witch!" Before I could elaborate any further, our phones all rang with an emergency code from Rangeman. I grabbed my purse and apologized to the girls. "I'm sorry, but it's a mandatory report call. We have to go. I'll come by the office tomorrow." Both Connie and Lula nodded and watched me leave with the guys.

Sadly, Lester assumed that in the chaos of the emergency code, I had forgotten about my payback. He was wrong. He was so wrong. It's on... like Donkey Kong!

**A/N: So now you know what I meant about gag reflex. I had a hard time writing about the last joke, I kept gagging. Sadly, I have had this joke played on me more than once, by my friends who chewed or dipped. I soon learned never to let my beer out of my hands, it was the only way to ensure it remained spit free. UGH! Anyway, I hoped that the choice of jokes wasn't too much. Please read and review. I'd love to hear your thoughts about this latest chapter. Should I continue with another round of jokes or end it right here? Let me know!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I profit from Janet's characters.**

**Chapter 3:**

**LPOV**

Beautiful is going to get it. I can't believe she "gave" me to Grandma Mazur as a birthday gift. WTF? What did I do to her that warranted that kind of evil? Okay, so she opened the booby trapped envelope I left for her and temporarily became Smurfette, she freaked when I replaced her peanut butter with window caulking and her olives with rubber eyeballs, and she nearly hurled when I switched her beer bottle with Woody's spit bottle at the club. But, still, those were nothing like what she did to me. Her prank was just pure evil.

Now, my mission in life is to exact revenge. I don't mean the typical or amatur-ish prank. NO! What I need, is something that will become legendary. Something my children will talk about long after I am cold and dead. Something that will crown me the Prank King! I need ideas, I need them fast. I need to think.

So, here I am laying on my bed, flat on my back, my head hanging over the edge, my arms and legs spread wide open. Beautiful calls this her thinking position, I can see how it works. It forces you to stare at the blank ceiling. Your brain is forced into working even if you don't want it to. But tonight, I believe that sleep is more important. So, I'm just going to doze off for a while. I'll wake up later with a clear head.

I finally awoke to the sound of my phone ringing, and it wasn't going to end anytime soon. My arm flopped over and my hand connected with my phone bringing it to my ear after I flipped it open. "Yo." I rubbed my face with the open palm of my other hand.

"Santos. You were supposed to be in the control room five minutes ago. Where are you man?" Bobby hissed into the phone. I groaned and stretched, my joints popping as I moved.

"I'll be down in 5." I yawned and rubbed my eyes. I rolled out of bed, pulled on a semi fresh shirt, tugged on the same cargos I wore last shift and threw on clean socks and my boots. I chugged down a bottle of water as I climbed the stairs from 4 to 5. I just happened to assume my seat, just as the elevator opened and Ranger walked in.

"Report." He barked, I tried not to yawn.

"Nothing new. Hector just returned half an hour ago from fixing Mrs. Clementine's key pad." Ranger nodded and walked away, none the wiser.

"How in the hell do you do that?" Bobby asked, stunned I was able to think quickly on my feet.

"What?" I asked, even though I knew fully well what he was asking.

"How the hell do you manage to fool Ranger like that?" His eyes narrowed and I chuckled.

"Dude. I sent the work order to Hector last night. It was a quick fix." I shrugged my shoulders and rolled my eyes, "I mean come on... he's fast."

"Whatever. Just make sure you don't drag me down with you when Ranger finds out you're slacking." He shook his head. After a few minutes pause, he gingerly asked, "So, I see you survived Grandma Mazur." A wide grin covered his face, showing his sparkling white teeth.

"Dude, I thought I was going to die." Bobby fell off his chair laughing, tears streaming down his face. "She kept grabbing my 'package' leading me. I wanted to die." Bobby started a coughing fit loud enough to draw attention from the other men on duty in their cubicles.

"You... said... package!" Bobby tried to sit up and failed miserably.

"Dude! Shut up, Man. Ranger's going to come in and bust us." I hissed, trying to get him to collect himself.

"Busted." I cringed at the sound of Ranger's voice behind me. I closed my eyes, prayed for leinency and reopened them to stare at Ranger's glaring face. "Santos. Your ass on the mats 0700."

"Yes, Sir." I groaned and agreed. Bobby sobered quickly and resumed his seat.

"Brown, you want to join him?" Ranger asked, his voice low.

"No Sir." Bobby focused his attention back to the monitors and was quiet the remainder of the shift.

As I sat at the monitors I formulated a plan. An evil plan, a devious plan, a great plan. Now all I had to do was put it into action. Bobby and I finished our shift and I made my way down to 4 to prep for the ultimate revenge. I stacked several empty duffel by my door and went down to visit Hector in the electronics room.

"Hola, Hector." I greeted in a warm tone. "I need a motion activated camera and a few sensors."

Hector eyed me suspiciously. "Por que?" (Why?) His eyes narrowed and I could tell he was suspicious of me. I played it off, as if it was nothing.

"I want to install a camera to see if someone will prank me again." He grinned and rolled his eyes. Beautiful had taught him well.

"Bueno." (Okay.) He handed me a small sleek camera, a small transmitter and several small sensors. I loved these small electronics, they were discrete, easily hid and the images broadcast back to the receiver was top quality. I thanked Hector and headed back up to 4 to wait to put my plan into action.

As soon as I heard Beautiful's laugh down the hall, I knew it was time. I waited for her and Hal to walk into the elevator to go up to 5, then I slipped out my door carrying my equipment. I hopped into my personal car, a 1966 Ford Mustang GT Fastback, cherry red with cream interior, (Oh, I love this car!) and hit the road. I pulled into a parking spot directly in front of the door for Beautiful's apartment building and made my way up the stairs. After donning a pair of latex gloves, I opened the lock on her front door and closed the door behind me gently.

Finding a spot to plant the camera was easy, a small hole in the corner of the ceiling near her bed would work. I wedged the camera into the hole and flipped on the power. I secured the sensors between the wall and her dresser, next to the door. It was still hidden, but would sense if anyone entered the room. I flipped on the small portable monitor I held and watched me wave to myself.

I grinned and then went to work collecting the one thing I knew Beautiful really loved. Her shoes. I know, it may sound a little boring, but to Beautiful, shoes are life. They can make or break an outfit, make or break her day and certainly make or break a hook up with Ranger. I chuckled knowing that she would be beside herself when she found them missing. I typed and printed out a simple ransom note on her computer and left it on her kitchen table. As quickly as I entered her apartment, I left toting the three duffel stuffed full of her beloved shoes.

**SPOV**

I just finished a long stakeout with Hal, watching for a skip that was suspected of raping a working girl on Stark Street and setting fire to her car. As usual, we never saw anything, so we spent the time talking about life and fun stuff. It was almost 0300 and I needed sleep desperately. I unlocked my door, threw my belt and gun onto the kitchen table and headed for my bedroom. Without giving it much of a look, I stripped naked, pulled one of Ranger's t-shirts over my head and slid into bed. Nothing was going to wake me for a good eight hours. I fell asleep dreaming of a naked Ranger. Mmm...

When I awoke, the smell of fresh brewed coffee forced my eyes open. I inhaled deeply and smiled. Standing before me holding a steaming mug of coffee was Ranger.

"Babe. I think you need to get up. Something I need to show you." I rubbed my eyes with the backs of my hands and sat up. Taking the offered coffee, I slid out of bed and followed Ranger out to the living room. I stopped to lean against the kitchen counter, sipping the coffee. "Babe. You're killing me here." He gave me a wolf grin and I looked down to find myself still only dressed in his t-shirt.

"What? It's the most comfortable thing I can sleep in." I shot back, a small smile played on my lips.

Ranger walked over to my table and pointed to a paper sitting just under my belt. "You read this yet?" He asked, the corners of his mouth quirked upward.

I shook my head. "Nope. I went straight to bed last night. Didn't notice it." I stood upright and made my way over to get a better look. Once I had read it, I went pale and dropped my mug onto the floor. The coffee cup shattered and I felt light headed and tunnel vision began to take over. Ranger picked me up and carried me to the couch, setting me down. He smoothed my hair and spoke to me quietly in Spanish, I had no idea what he was saying but it had a calming effect on me. As soon as I regained myself, I jumped up and ran to my bedroom.

"LESTER!" I shrieked, as I noticed my empty closet. "MY SHOES!" I whirled around to face a clearly amused Ranger. "You think this is funny? He has all my shoes. All of them. And all you can do is stand there and smile at me?" I shot at him in my best pissey tone. "I need my shoes."

"Babe. They're just shoes." He replied, trying not to smile.

"To you, they're just shoes. To me, they're my babies!" I stood, hands on hips and the best Burg glare I could muster. "How can I do distractions now?" I asked, in a bitchy voice. I flopped down on the bed and dropped my head into my hands. "I just bought a pair of to die for black with white polka dot 5 inch FMP's I was going to wear with my little black dress for our dinner tomorrow night."

The look of realization came over Ranger's face. "We need the shoes back ASAP."

"You think genius?" I retorted, rolling my eyes. "So what's the plan?"

"He wants you to perform two small tasks before he returns the shoes. Looks like you'll have to suck it up and get them back on his terms." Ranger shrugged slightly and it made me mad.

"His terms? HIS TERMS? I am so going to get him back for this. If I don't get them back all in one piece and in the same condition I had them in, he's a dead man." My voice went from screaming to barely a whisper. Ranger seemed to understand the severity of the situation and called in re-enforcements. He flipped open his phone and called Tank.

"Yo. I'm at her apartment. Be here in 15. Bring Cal, Hal, Vince, Woody and Binkie." He snapped the phone shut and waited on the couch with me in silence.

**Tank's POV**

Holy Shit! Santos has gone too far this time. He stole all of Babygirl's shoes. I'm not just talking about a few pairs, no, I mean the entire closet is cleaned out. The only remaining pair of footwear she has left is her work boots. She's a wreck right now. Tears are streaming down her face and she's unusually quiet. I'm not liking the situation at all, and she knows it.

"Babygirl, what are his demands?" Her face paled a little more and she handed me the note that was left for her.

**Beautiful,**

**I have your shoes. I have all your wonderful shoes. If you ever want to see them again, including the pair of Jimmy Choo's, you will meet all of my demands.**

**1. You will stand out on the corner of Chambers and Hamilton, dressed in nothing more than the bikini I will provide for you, holding a sign that says 'Lester Santos is King' from the hours of 1500 and 1700 tonight. I will bring you appropriate shoes to wear. There is to be no involvement of any Rangeman personnel, including Tank and Ranger. If any involvement is suspected, I will destroy one pair of shoes every minute until they back off. **

**2. You will meet me tonight at 2200 at a location I will text to you. You will have twenty minutes to arrive ALONE. You will wear clothing appropriate for a casual business meeting, I will bring you appropriate shoes. There will be no involvement of any Rangeman personnel. As I stated before, if I suspect that there are men helping you, I will destroy a pair of shoes every minute until they back off. **

**I expect you will comply with my demands. If, in the event you do not accept my demands and comply, I will be forced to destroy your shoes in as many ways I see fit. Burning, shredding, slashing, snapping off heels, etc. How many ways can I destroy your beloved shoes? Let's hope we don't find out.**

**Lovingly yours,**

**The Prank King**

I think my silence made her nervous, her hands were wringing the hem of her Rangeman shirt. I knew that her shoes were important to her, she always said wearing the right pair of shoes could make her day. I knew full well, after talking with Lula, that a few pairs of her shoes were, for her, extremely expensive."Babygirl, you're in some deep shit."

The tears that threatened to fall from her bright blue eyes, made my heart break. "But, Tank... my shoes... all of my shoes..." She dropped down onto the couch, a worried look on her face. "He can't find out you both know. He'll wreck all of my shoes." A lone tears streaked down her face.

"Babe." I watched Ranger pull her to her feet and wrap her into a hug. "I can buy you new shoes. Closets full of shoes. You don't need to do this." He pleaded with her. She shook her head and worked her way out if his arms.

"No. I can't have you buying me shoes. I can't accept any shoes from anyone, I need to buy them for myself. I don't want to take advantage of you or anyone." Sitting herself back onto the couch, she fiddled with her fingers, not meeting Ranger's gaze. "I can buy my own shoes."

"Babe. Remember what I said, 'No price'." She rolled her eyes and slapped her hand down on the arm of the sofa hard.

"Damn it! I know that! But these are my babies! I worked really hard to buy them all myself. The pair of Jimmy Choo's I bought with the money I received from bringing in Chester the Jester last month." The slightest look of confusion on my face had her explaining herself. "You know, Chester the Jester? The guy who works with Terri Gillman. He skipped on an assault charge and Hal helped me with him." The look of confusion remained and she sighed loudly before she added. "He was the one that dumped the bottles of shampoo on me and the toilet cleanser on Hal.

Oh, yeah. I remember that. I think she realized I recognized the skip when my eyebrow quirked and I chuckled. "Babygirl. I remember now. You smelled so good for a whole week. Hal, not so much." She smiled and then frowned.

"You can't let anyone know that you know, 'cuz if he knows that you know, it curtains for my shoes."

"Babe. Curtains?" Ranger raised a single eyebrow, a slight smile on his lips.

"What? They're being held hostage and I felt it was appropriate." She shrugged.

"So, are you going let us help you, or are you going to let Santos get his way?" I asked, eying her carefully. She seemed to falter when she tried to buck up, she rubbed her forehead with her hands sighing woefully. I lowered myself onto the couch next to her and laid my arm over her shoulders, "Babygirl. Santos may be good..." I glanced at Ranger and smiled deviously, "But we're better." A similar smile played across Ranger's face, Babygirl looked at us both, first Ranger and then me. It was magic to see the same devious smile break across her face as well. I swear, if I didn't know any better, tiny little devil horns had grown on top of her head.

She leaned into me, laying her head on my bicep, "So, what's the plan?"

**Ranger's POV**

My Babe has really worked herself into a situation this time. Santos seems to have her over a barrel this time. But everything is not what it appears. Right about now, I'm grinning from ear to ear, well internally grinning, anyhow. My face remains blank, no emotions showing, revealing nothing, as I walk through the building to my office. I glance over to see Santos pouring over paperwork at his desk. Maybe, after my Babe's plan to counteract his demands, I'll take him to the mats. Teach him a lesson in proper office decorum.

"Santos. Get Brown. My office in 5." I barked at him, watching his jump at the sound of my voice. I closed the door behind me and I chuckle softly. Five minutes later both men were at my door, a knock announced their presence. "Enter."

"Bossman." Santos stated as he dropped into one of my visitor chairs, crossing his ankles and crossing his arms over his chest, relaxing himself. Brown remained standing, at parade rest.

"I have a little job for you." Brown looked at Santos and vice verse a.

"What is it?" Lester asked, yawning. His lazy attitude and whole act as if nothing was wrong, was making it difficult to keep a blank face. It honestly made me want to pound his face in, for messing with my Babe.

"I need you to pick up the low level skips for Vinnie today. I saw my Babe this morning and she said she was feeling ill. She'll be out for the day." I watched Lester almost jump for joy, until he reigned himself in.

"Sure thing, Bossman." He gave me half assed salute and rose to his feet to walk out the door.

"You want us to check on her?" Brown asked, worried about my Babe.

"No. I'll call you if she needs you." I replied.

They walked out, the door closing with a quiet click behind them. The sound of my fist slamming down onto the desktop echoed throughout the sound proofed room. I glanced down to see that I had dented the oak desk top. Damn, sometimes I don't know my own strength.

**SPOV**

I'm sitting at home, watching the clock. It's nearly 1400 and I'm getting more and more nervous as time goes on. Ranger and Tank assured me, Lester would never find out that they knew. That he wouldn't find out they were helping me, but it was still scary. A knock at my door nearly unhinges me, I jump to my feet, my hands in fists. I tiptoe to the door and look into the peephole to see a courier, standing in front of my door, holding a package. Tenetively, I open the door.

"Ms. Stephanie Plum?" He asks, reading my name off of a clipboard.

"Yes."

"Please sign for your package." He handed me the clipboard and after I signed the paper, he handed me the package.

"Who's it from?" I asked, nervous it may be from a new stalker.

He glanced down at his paper work and finds the name. "L. Santos." I groan and thank him as I shut my door.

Setting the package on the table, I stare at it for a full ten minutes before I gain enough courage to open it. I slit the tape with my small pocket knife, and carefully opened the box. Inside I found something from my nightmares. A bright yellow, polka dotted bikini, a pair of my black patent leather 4 inch FMP's and a note.

**Beautiful,**

**Thought you'd look fabulous in these. Can't wait to see it.**

**Lovingly yours,**

**The Prank King**

I cringed as I held up the itsy, bitsy, teeny, weeny, yellow, polka dot bikini. God! Was he mental? Was this some sick association with that stupid bikini song? He was so going to get it after I got my shoes back. And against my better judgment, I soon found myself humming that damn bikini song. I prepped my hair and make-up, hoping if the plan Ranger, Tank and I had assembled didn't work, then at least I'd look great standing out on the corner in my bikini. I slipped on the horrible swimsuit and called Ranger.

"I can't do it."

"Babe." I could hear the sigh in his voice.

"You don't know!" I begged. "He sent me the bikini."

"And?" He asked, apparently a little frustrated.

"It's horrible." I stated, hoping he'd help me.

"Babe."

I rolled my eyes and explained. "You know the song, She wore an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini?" He began to laugh, and it was pissing me off.

"Babe." His one word answer told me all I needed to know. It said, it's alright. But it also meant, I'd like to see it in person, and it said, you've got to be joking.

"Not joking, it's horrible and I feel like I'm doomed."

"I'm right around the corner. Be there in 4." I opened my mouth answer, but realized he had hung up.

Four minutes later Ranger and Tank were standing in front of me waiting for me to open my robe. "Babe. Let's see it." Tank nodded, and I flushed thinking that this bikini was showing off way too much skin.

"Babygirl, let us decide if it's too much skin." Damn, I had said it out loud! I gotta learn to keep my mouth shut. I sighed and slowly untied the belt, and slid the robe off. The sound of Tank sucking in a breath and Ranger growling made me close my eyes tightly.

"Babe. Put the robe back on." Ranger stated, his voice slightly strangled. I could tell that both Tank and Ranger were affected by the barely there swim wear and it made me feel worse. I slipped the robe back on and tied it firmly. Tank rubbed his forehead and cursed under his breath. Ranger's eyes never left me and I almost melted from the heat he was radiating. Whether it was from anger or lust, I wasn't sure, but it was intense.

"Babygirl. This plan has to work now." He patted my shoulder. "We can't have the entire Berg seeing you in that... that... scrap of fabric." He motioned to my clothing. "That's just indecent." I sighed forcefully and nodded.

"Just be glad you're not wearing it." He cringed and I rolled my eyes.

"Babe." The amusement in Ranger's eyes was unchecked and it made me feel a little better.

"Alright. So after I get to Chambers and Hamilton at 1458, I'll stand around until I get the signal from you. You promise this is going to work?" I asked, leery of my decision to accept their help.

"Babe. You trust me?" Ranger asked as he pulled me into his arms, his face nuzzling my neck. I sighed and relaxed into his arms.

"With my life."

"Good. It's time for you to go." I stiffened and then nodded as Tank handed me my sign. I had spent a whole two seconds with a thick black marker and a bright pink poster board. After writing 'Lester Santos is King', I decided to spice it up a little bit. I added a touch of glue to a few strategic places and added some glitter and maribu from an old feather boa I had left over from a Halloween costume. By the time I had finished, it was a work of art, albeit a piece of art one would expect from a five year old.

I removed the robe and switched it for a long trench coat. After getting a final nod from Tank, I turned to Ranger fear in my eyes. "Babe. You'll be fine." He kissed my forehead and a shiver ran up my spine.

"You better make sure the plan works." I warned and strode out the door.

Loaded into my latest vehicle, a red 1986 Jeep CJ7, and slammed the door shut. The rear view mirror fell off of the windshield and I sighed, thinking to myself, 'why me?' It started on the third try and I pulled out of my parking lot and headed to my designated humiliation spot. I found a parking spot and sat in my car until 1458. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary and I breathed a small sigh of relief. Then I received a text message from Tank, _All clear. proceed with caution._ I took a deep breath and exited the jeep carrying my sign.

Standing near the corner of Hamilton and Chambers, I observed my watch tick away until it reached 1500. As soon as it hit 1500, I stripped off my coat and began to hold up my sign. The sound of screeching tires, catcalls and whistles filled the air. But as soon as it began it ended when the sound of sirens filled the air. I watched as fire engine after fire engine raced past me to another part of town. I watched as people left the streets and took up residence around TV's to watch the local breaking news. Pulling my phone off of my waist, I flipped it open and sent a text to Ranger. _Do I want 2 know what ur diversion was?_

Less than a minute later I received an answer back. _Babe. It's working._ I had to admit, it was. There was hardly anyone around town at this point and I was feeling much better about the next hour and 50 minutes. As Ranger predicted, the time flew by and not much happened in the way of attention. The only person that I saw that I knew, was Walter "Moon Man" Dunphey.

"Dudette!" Walter waltzed up the sidewalk, carrying a pizza box and a handful of DVD's. "Where's the bikini contest?"

"Hey, Mooner. No contest."

"Come by later on, there's a Star Trek marathon on, let's veg out and eat pizza."

"I'd love to Mooner, but I already have plans." He shrugged and seemed oblivious to my answer.

"Alright. See you later, Dudette."

I checked my watch, there was one minute left on my designated time and I was getting anxious. Lester was so going to pay for this. Every second closer to 1700, my anger grew. My hands gripped the sign harder and harder, crumpling the edges, my arms feeling like jello. As the last few seconds ticked away, I watched as four motorcycles pulled to a stop directly in front of me. The riders whipped their helmets off and I was stunned to see a flabbergasted Hal, Cal, Bobby and a grinning Lester. Les pulled out his phone, snapped a picture and chuckled.

"Dude! What did you do to get her to do that for you?" Cal wondered, looking me over from head to toe, drooling. Hal looked as if he were going to fall off his ride, Bobby was too stunned to say anything intelligent.

"Man, you'd never believe me if I told you." I glared at him and stuck my tongue out.

"He stole all of my beautiful shoes!" I screeched and threw the sign at Les's head, he ducked and slipped his helmet on. "I have to do this to get them back." I stomped my foot and gave him my best Berg glare.

"Les you are the king. Just pray to god that Ranger doesn't find out, or you'll be like 'The King' dead on a toilet in Graceland." Bobby warned.

"Details, details!" Lester laughed and waved his hands in the air. "Beautiful, don't forget, we have a date later." I flipped him the bird as the guys rode away.

I pulled on my coat and stomped back to my jeep. I pulled my phone from my waist and dialed Ranger. "Yo."

"Yo yourself." I could hear the tension in his voice.

"Everything alright?" I asked, sensing something was amiss.

"Nothing we can't handle. Meet you back at your apartment in 20."

"Okay." I answered, but realized I was talking to dead air. Annoyed, I snapped the phone shut. "Damn it! I wish for once he would say goodbye to me." In a foul mood, I chirped the tires of the jeep as I pulled away from my parking spot. The ride back was silent as I mulled my revenge on Lester. Pulling into my lot, I found an available spot near the dumpster and grumbled the entire way up the stairs to my apartment. Nothing I could think of at the time seemed worthy enough, nothing seemed devious enough, nothing evil enough. Sadly, I was going to have to ask for help with my revenge. I was going to have to ask my mentor and my friend for help.

Letting myself into my apartment, I quickly made my way into my bedroom to change. I pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, and made to leave the room. But as I passed the door, I dropped the shirt and bent over to pick it up. As my hand made contact with the shirt, my eyes lifted just enough to notice two small electronic devices placed at knee height, just behind my dresser. I backed away slowly and left the room.

"Yo. I'm in your lot."

"Um, I think you better hurry. I found something and I'm not sure what it is." The worry in my voice cut Ranger like a knife, in less than 15 seconds he burst through my front door, gun drawn, eyes wild.

"Babe. You okay?" I nodded and pointed to my bedroom.

"Uh, it's small, electronic, at knee height, and I'm afraid it's attached to a bomb." He stiffened slightly and motioned for me to exit the apartment. He holstered his gun and slowly crept to my bedroom door. He spied the device immediately and gave it a good once over. The sound of it being ripped off the wall and his near silent curse made me worry. It wasn't until he dialed Tank, that I relaxed slightly.

"We have a situation here." He held the small device in his palm, his eyes narrowed slightly. "Santos has the bedroom under surveilence. Sensor at the door, knee height, transmitter is probably within the room as well as the camera." He paused for a moment before he snapped the phone shut.

"Is it a bomb?" I asked, oblivious to his conversation with Tank.

"No." Ranger turned to me, his face blank. "He's been watching you. He has a camera in your bedroom." I blanched and stormed into the bedroom, frantically searching for the camera.

"What will it look like?" I asked, seething with anger and frustration.

"Small and black. About the size of a tube of lipstick." I began my search along the ceiling of the room and found the small hole in the corner. I coughed and left the room, Ranger followed behind me understanding my body language.

"The hole in the corner, it's bigger than it was last week." I nearly pulled my hair out in frustration. Lester was so going to get it now. He'd be lucky to survive, now that Ranger was involved.

"Give me a sec." He left me pacing my kitchen floor, while he removed the camera. He returned with the offending camera in hand. "Babe. The room is clear now. You can go change." I sighed and moved past him tenetive to use my own bedroom. Damn it! To hell with Lester! He's stolen my favorite things, tried to humiliate me, and now I find out he's invaded my personal space and my privacy. He'll be lucky if I don't kill him with my bare hands. Okay, so I can't do it right now. But that doesn't mean I can't learn. My mentor and my friend is Ranger. He could teach me how to kill Les with my pinky, if I asked. Hmm... something to think about. Tossing the sweats aside, I snagged a pair of jeans instead, threw them on with the shirt. I tugged socks and my boots back on, only stopping long enough to check my hair and make-up in the small mirror on my dresser.

I was beyond pissed. I was way past angry. I was at the point of not giving a damn about my shoes anymore. Walking out into the living room, I asked Ranger, "Were you serious about buying me shoes?" He raised one eyebrow, clearly amused at my question. "Well?"

"Babe." He shook his head slightly and wrapped me in his arms, I laid my head on his shoulder. "I'd buy you an entire shoe factory if you wanted." Tears formed in my eyes, threatening to fall. "But yes, I was serious."

"Good, because I'm sacrificing my babies for the greater good." His chuckle made me smile.

"The greater good? Babe."

"What? Isn't it for the greater good to take this asshole down and beat him unconscious, electrocute him until he's sterile, pull his finger nails out one by one, slowly drip acid onto the skin in sensitive places, violating him with a whole chicken, and so on and so forth." He released me and took a step back, his focus solely on me.

"Babe. My handler could have used you years ago. You're sadistic." I raised both of my eyebrows at him and scoffed.

"Sadistic? You have no idea. I completely blew past being pissed. Right about now, I'm on a starship at warp speed, flying past anger and headed straight for painful and possibly fatal revenge."

Ranger stilled at my words and I watched as his face completely changed from one of awe to one of desire. In an instant I was thrown over his shoulder and carried to my bedroom, my shrieks of laughter echoed throughout the apartment.

A little over two hours later, we both laid on my bed, our bodies spent from several rounds of love making. I almost couldn't move, and I was quite sure Ranger was feeling the same. "Babe. Your phone beeped."

I cringed and knew it was time to call Lester back and tell him the bad news. I rolled off the bed and turned to Ranger, "Stay there. I'll be right back." He chuckled and I dashed out into the living room to snatch my phone off of the kitchen counter. I ran back into the bedroom, jumped into the bed, sliding to a stop against Ranger's super sexy body. "SAFE!" I shouted out loud, swinging my arms from across my chest outward, mimicing an umpire. Ranger closed his eyes, laid his head back onto the bed as his rich laughter filled the room. I grinned and focused my attention to my phone.

I flipped it open to find a text from Les.

**Beautiful, **

**You are expected in 20 minutes or less at the following address. 752 Charter Way. Casual business dress is required. Your shoes are located in the package sitting on your doorstep. **

**Lovingly yours,**

**Prank King**

I flinched as Ranger read the message over my shoulder. "You want to call him, or do you want me to do it?" He rubbed my back gently, trying to give me options. I shook my head, knowing full well, this was something that I had to do.

I dialed the all too familiar number into the phone and hit send. "Yo, Beautiful. You headed over yet?" He asked, seeming a little sure of himself.

"Uh..." I froze momentarily, until I envisioned torturing Lester. "Lester! You asshole! You can keep those crappy ass shoes. As far as I am concerned you are dead meat! You hear me? You better run you little prick! I have plans to torture you, so you better head for the hills. RUN, SANTOS, RUNNNNN!" I snapped the phone shut and laughed maniacally, until it was cut off by a possessive kiss from Ranger.

Oh, Boy!

**A/N: Sorry it's taken a while to post a new chapter, but I've been down with the flu and it kicked my back side something fierce. If you're wondering what Steph has in store for Lester, stay tuned. And for those who are wondering about Ranger's feelings about Lester spying on Steph, don't worry, he's a patient man. He's just waiting for Les to forget about it for a while. Remember... Packback is a witch! Please read and review. They make me write faster... hint hint!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own nor do I profit from Janet's characters.**

**Chapter 4:**

_Previously:_

_I dialed the all too familiar number into the phone and hit send. "Yo, Beautiful. You headed over yet?" He asked, seeming a little sure of himself._

_"Uh..." I froze momentarily, until I envisioned torturing Lester. "Lester! You asshole! You can keep those crappy ass shoes. As far as I am concerned you are dead meat! You hear me? You better run you little prick! I have plans to torture you, so you better head for the hills. RUN, SANTOS, RUNNNNN!" I snapped the phone shut and laughed maniacally, until it was cut off by a possessive kiss from Ranger._

_Oh, Boy!_

**RPOV**

Wow! I can't get over how hot it is to listen to my Babe tell off Santos. My body is responding and I'm relieved that we're laying here in her bed. Earlier when she started to rant about the different things she could do to torture Santos, Little Ranger decided to stand up and pay attention. Dios mio!

Buying her shoes was the least I could do for her, after what Santos has put her through. Speaking of Santos, as far as I was concerned, he was on my shit list. Sending him to the middle of a third world country, with nothing but the clothes on his back and a toothpick, was probably too good for him. No. He had gone too far, crossed the line, made his choice. He was going down. Rangeman style. It would probably involve various weapons and possibly some type of serious bodily harm. Good for me, not so much for him.

I swept her mouth up in a possessive kiss, cutting off any chance she may have had to escape this bed for the rest of the night. "Babe." I was grinning, and I don't usually grin.

"I think he just crapped his pants." She giggled, running her hand through her wildly curly hair. "I don't think he expected me to give up like that."

"Probably not. He counted on your attachment to the shoes."

"A bond between a woman and her shoes... it's a beautiful thing."

I chuckled and nuzzled her neck, wrapping my fingers in her hair. "Babe." I lowered my lips to hers, capturing them in an intense fiery kiss. A low moan escaped from her throat as I pulled back, breaking contact. Both of us were breathing heavily, I tucked a stray curl behind her ear. "We have to plan your revenge."

Both her eyebrows shot up in surprise. "We?" She seemed surprised I would even mention my involvement. "You want to help me get back at him?"

"Babe. Not just me. Tank, too." She grinned and hugged me fiercely.

"Thank you." My arms snaked around her, drawing her close.

"Anytime, Babe."

My Babe and I made love until the wee hours of the morning. In between rounds, we shared ideas of revenge until we had formed a plan, a devious and evil plan.

**SPOV**

I decided to take Ranger up on his offer to replace my shoes, they may not be the exact shoes I once had, but they would be beautiful shoes. I was bummed out that I had to give up the pair of Jimmy Choo's, but knowing Ranger, he would probably find the same exact ones for me. Now with the shoe situation taken care of, I can now focus entirely on my revenge. Les is going down!

In the morning, Ranger and I made our way back to Haywood, by a way of a quick detour by the Tasty Pastry. We carried the six huge boxes of sugary goodies into the break room. The sight of the guys watching us made me laugh. They seemed totally surprised that Ranger was allowing contraband donuts into the building, and were leery of the reasoning behind it. I smiled and we set them onto the table in the break room and I snagged a Boston Creme, filling my mouth with sugary goodness.

"Bossman. Bomber." Cal, Hal and Ram greeted us. Hal eyed the boxes, a slight twitch in his left eye.

"Hey, guys. Thought we'd bring in a treat." Ram and Cal glanced at each other, weary of the offering. Hal just nodded, entranced by the sugar bombs in front of him. "Hal would you like a couple?"

His eyes flicked from the donuts to Ranger and back again. Ranger gave a quick nod and the feeding frenzy was on. In the matter of four minutes, all six boxes were empty, not even crumbs remained. Ranger managed to save me a Boston Creme. He escorted me to my desk, to wait for the morning staff meeting at 0800. Licking the remaining icing off of my fingers, I heard Lester's voice cut through the noise from the other men on the floor. My phone beeped and I glanced down to see a new text message from Tank. _Target acquired._

I turned towards my desk pretending to look over a file, as I listened to Lester make his way to his desk, across the aisle from me. I heard him the moment he saw me, his steps faltered slightly and he immediately turned around and fled the area. I grinned to myself and sent a text back to Tank. _Target fled area. _Standing on my feet, I walked into Conference room A and sat in my usual seat, in between the left side of Ranger and the right side of Lester. Tank entered the room and closed the door behind him, as he carried a small bag in his hands.

"Morning Babygirl." He greeted with a wide smile.

"Morning Big Guy." I reached up and rubbed his bald head. "For good luck." He grinned and he shook his head slightly.

"If Ranger has anything to do with this, luck has nothing to do with it." I rolled my eyes and eyed his bag.

"You brought everything?" He nodded and tapped the bag with his fingertips.

"Plus a few extra surprises." An evil grin spread across my face, making one of the biggest bad asses I know, shiver in his boots out of fear.

**TPOV**

Holy Shit! Does my Babygirl even know how scary she is when she's driven by revenge? I know damn well she saw me shiver, and about now, I could care less. We're getting Santos back for the evil prank he tried to pull on her with the shoes. To think, he stole every last shoe she had in that apartment. He even went into the bathroom and took her slippers! WTF? Knowing Babygirl, like we do, I'm surprised Santos was suicidal enough to try something so daring and stupid. We have all seen her when she gets mad. She's like a bulldog, she grabs a hold and doesn't let go until she's satisfied she's got what she wants. Right now, Santos is in her sights, and I don't feel a bit sorry for him.

I brought my kit with me. Ranger called me last night and explained what had happened with Babygirl's decision to give up her shoes. To say the least, I was shocked, but proud all the same. She has grown emotionally so much over the last few years she's almost not the same person. She's given up a lot of herself these last few years, and to think Santos was trying to put her through more mental anguish was almost too much to bear.

I slid the bag across the table to where I was standing next to Santos's chair and unzipped the bag, revealing my goodies. I first began to rig a flattened piece of cordite around the bottom Santos's chair, attaching a receiver and ignition cap. Several rolls of duct tape were stashed behind the podium we used during official tele-briefings with our government handlers. Syringes filled with Bobby's custom blend of sedatives were taped to the underside of the table next to where I sit, allowing me quick access to them when needed. I gave a near silent chuckle, as Babygirl watched me in fascination. The coil of rope, permanent markers, and assorted pieces of clothing I procured from Lula remained in the bag I set onto the floor. I nodded and gave her a wicked grin.

I flipped out my phone and sent Ranger a text. _Ready. Awaiting target._ I showed it Babygirl before I sent it, her giggle filled the air. I flipped the phone shut, stuffed it into my pocket and sat in my chair, awaiting the inevitable.

**LPOV**

When I received the phone call from Beautiful last night, I was prepping for her next task from my ransom note. I had planned on sending her to a park near her parent's house for a picnic and an apology. I had felt bad for taking her shoes, and watching her reaction on the monitor was not as satisfying as I had anticipated. In fact, I felt ashamed and like a dumb ass for what I did. I only hoped she would forgive me. I had taken her shoes to a friend of mine who owned a shoe repair place in town. He had cleaned, repaired and touched up all her shoes. After I received them back, I wrapped them in tissue and placed them into new shoe boxes. They all looked great and I knew that Beautiful would appreciate that.

When Beautiful screamed for me to keep the shoes and that I was dead meat I knew things had gone horribly, horribly wrong. I felt sick to my stomach and couldn't understand what was going on. Before I could ask her what was going on, she hung up. I dropped to my knees, staring at the phone in my hand. What have I done? Shit! I am so dead. Beautiful had called me a prick! She told me she was going to torture me, then she told me to run like Forrest Gump. RUN, SANTOS, RUNNNNN! I am soooo dead! And I pray to God, that Ranger doesn't find out. Crap, I'm a dead man if he finds out about the camera in her bedroom. I better find time later tomorrow to retrieve the camera and sensors before their found.

I glanced over to the picnic basket and my heart sank. I am so dead.

Waking early this morning, I ran and worked out alone. My thoughts centered around what I had done and how I was going to make it up to Beautiful. Maybe I could be her slave boy for a day. Hmm... no. Maybe not. I would probably end up spending the day with Grandma Mazur and I don't think my sanity could take that. I don't know... I guess I'll have to think about it. I walked back to my apartment, showered and changed into my uniform for the day. Sighing, I decided that I had better go up to 5 and wait for the morning meeting.

I walk onto the floor on 5 to see the guys stuffing themselves with donuts. WTF? I thought donuts were on the contraband list sent out by Ranger, and to find out that he and Beautiful were the ones that brought them in, made no sense. I was highly suspicious, what on earth could have prompted Ranger to cave and provide the sugary treats to his men? Ram handed me a chocolate donut, I gave it a quick once over before I bit into it. Three bites later it was gone and I downed the last of my coffee. Mmm. I love donuts. Before Ranger hired me at Rangeman, I had a serious addiction to donuts. Let's just say, it was an unhealthy relationship, I loved them too much and they made me fat.

I joked with Binkie, Zip, Junior and Diaz, laughing about the picture of Beautiful I had sent the entire office via picture text. It had been a complete hit yesterday, I had even downloaded it to my computer to use as the background image on my computer desktop. Walking to my desk to prep myself before the morning meeting, I sensed a 'disturbance in the force' and noticed Beautiful sitting at her desk already at work. Not wanting a confrontation, I slowly backed away and headed to the control room to hang with Manny and Bones before the meeting started.

As soon as my watch hit 0759, I breathed in deeply, let it out slowly and walked to the conference room. I noticed Beautiful and Tank were already seated, so I quietly slid into my seat. Beautiful didn't even notice me at first, she was so absorbed in the file in her hands. It wasn't until just before Ranger walked into the room, that she saw me sitting next to her. She turned to me and smiled. I paled slightly and smiled back not wanting her to think I was nervous. Thank God! Ranger just walked in, that means that the meeting was going to start.

"Report!" He barked, surveying the group of men and the one lady sitting in the room.

"Break in at Heckley's Meat Market, Chester and Ramon apprehended the suspects as they exited. Three false alarms, one repair request and one boyfriend breaking into a client's daughter's room. But other than that, it's been quiet." Manny reported, as he read from a file in his hands.

"Schedule for today." Ranger stated, watching the men around the room carefully. I noticed he was on edge and it made me nervous. When ever he was like this, it made the rest of us a little nervous, no one knew exactly what to expect.

Tank stood at the table and read off of a master list, the assignments. I rolled my eyes, as he read. Things never changed around here. I was always partnered with Bobby, not that it was a bad thing, but that's just the way things are around here. He finished reading and I watched Ranger sit in his chair, leaning back watching us again.

"It has come to my attention, that a certain employee here at Rangeman has taken it upon himself to take unsanctioned actions against another employee. I find this behavior unprofessional and this employee should understand that it is now highly dangerous to his health to continue. It is my suggestion that said employee cease and desist immediately upon the penalty of being called to the mats. Am I understood?"

A chorus of "Yes, Sir!" was heard around the room and it seemed that the meeting was over. But before anyone could move, Beautiful stood and held up her hand as she spoke, "I have something before you all leave." She waited for the guys to resume their seats, before she continued. "I know that someone sent out a picture text of me yesterday." I grinned as most of the guys glared at me. What? The picture was hot! It showed Beautiful standing in nothing but an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini and a pair of 4 inch black patent leather FMP's. GOD THAT WAS SO HOT!

"I wanted to let you all know, any copies of those pictures that I find in this building after this meeting are to be either erased or destroyed. Am I clear?" The tone in her voice stated clearly that she did not want to be messed with. It made me not only nervous, but it turned me on all the same. Damn! I needed to get Little Lester under control.

A chorus of "Yes, Ma'am!" was heard. Before I could turn my head to look at her, I heard a loud bang and I fell over in my chair. A sharp pain in my shoulder made me wince, even before my chair hit the ground.

"What the hell?" I asked, as fog crept into my vision and I blacked out.

**SPOV**

It was on! I had ordered the men to destroy the pictures of me from yesterday, and had also set the plan in order. I uttered my code word, 'destroyed' and watched as Tank stealthily exited his seat, pushed the remote trigger, effectively blowing the bottom of Les's chair to bits and stuck Les with one of the syringes. It was great! The look on the guy's faces while it happened was priceless.

I turned to the guys surrounding us, giving them a stern warning. "This is what happens to people who steal ALL of my shoes, install a motion sensor camera with a live feed in my BEDROOM, and attempt to humiliate me in front of the entire Berg." I stood there staring them down, hands on my hips, Berg glare in full working order. "Anyone else want to join him?" The odd mix of horror, humor and fascination covered the faces of the men in front of me. I turned to Tank, "It's time."

Tank just grinned and reached behind him pulling out his knife from it's shieth. The sound of ripping fabric permeated the air as I retrieved Tank's bag off of the floor. Soon a nearly naked Lester lay before me on the floor. Thankfully, Tank had left a scrap of fabric covering his doodles. I giggled and was tempted to look. Okay, so who wouldn't want to see Lester's doodles, but I quickly decided against it when I saw a raised eyebrow from Ranger when I glanced at him. Damn! A girl never can have fun around here.

"Babe." I closed my eyes knowing full well, I must have said that out loud. "You're getting revenge, not checking out a Chip and Dale dancer."

I giggled and asked Ranger, "You sure we can't get him signed up for that? I'm sure I could get him booked for a solid eighteen months around here."

"Babe." I frowned and resumed my task of helping Tank.

We redressed Lester in the clothing Tank had in the bag, handcuffed his hands behind his back, slapped a piece of duct tape over his mouth, slung him over his shoulder and carried him out to the waiting SUV. I waited patiently as Tank loaded Les into the cargo hold and slammed the truck shut. Ranger slid into the driver's seat, Tank took the front passenger seat, while Hector and I slid into the rear bench seat. Ranger pulled out of the garage and onto the busy streets of Trenton.

After a quick trip down North Clinton Ave. we came to a stop in front of the building housing Trenton's Police Department. I watched as the Carl and Big Dog flagged us down. I powered the window down as our SUV came to a stop at the curb directly in front of the building. "Hey, Steph. Ranger. Tank. Hector." Carl greeted each of us with a smile. Big Dog waved as he kept an eye on those exiting the PD side of the building. We exited the SUV as Tank popped open the rear door. A gasp and peels of laughter filled the air as Tank and Ranger pulled the still unconscious Lester out of the truck.

Carl cringed as he got a good look at Les. "God! He's the ugliest woman I've ever seen!" I giggled at his observation and took a good look myself. Tank had dressed Lester in an outfit borrowed from Lula. The bright neon green spandex skirt was stretched over his lower body, just barely covering his doodles. The matching spandex tube top covered a narrow strip of his well muscled chest. He feet were still clad in his work boots, so I discarded the sandals I was quite sure would not fit. I dug around in my pocketbook and brought out my mascara, blush and eyeshadow. Giving him a quick makeover, I swirled in a generous amount of gel into my hands and styles Les's hair into a mohawk. I stood back and admired my handy work.

"Steph, you are an evil genius." Big Dog stated, as his arm slid over my shoulder. "You ever need a henchman, I'm your guy."

I giggled and shook my head. "Big Dog, I'm not planning on it anytime soon. But you'll be the first one I call, if I do."

"Babe." Ranger raised his eyebrow ever so slightly, in amusement. "The sedative is going to wear off soon." I dropped my pocketbook into the SUV and watched as the guys dragged Lester toward the center of the courtyard. I secured the harness around his ankles, as they held him up. Carl handed Ranger the clip, and Lester was soon attached to the rope for the flag pole. A few on lookers stopped at watch us, but the majority of people walked on by as if nothing was happening.

A few seconds later, Lester's eyes began to flutter open. So, before he could struggle against his bindings, Ranger and Tank hauled him up to the top. Looking up, I watched as Lester swung in the breeze, twisting slightly. A muffled scream came from his now struggling body, due to the fact his mouth was still taped. I giggled and leaned on ranger for support. I cupped my hands and shouted up to Les, "What's the matter Lester?"

He soon sighted me below him, and shot daggers at me with his angry green eys. Ranger raised an eyebrow and chuckled, "He's going to be pissed once he gets down from there, Babe."

I shrugged my shoulders and said in a relaxed voice. "I don't think he's going anywhere for a while." I leaned into Ranger's ear and whispered, "Besides, wait until he finds out what the distraction was last night." Ranger kissed my temple and I could feel him laughing lightly.

"Lester! We'll be back in a little while. We'll let you think about what you did to deserve this." I made to turn around but a familiar voice stopped me.

"Cupcake. What the hell are you doing?" I spun around to see none other than Trenton's own Joseph Morelli, standing behind us, hands on his hips, his face looking up at the hanging Lester. "What the hell did he do to piss you off?"

I grinned and rolled my eyes. "Hey, Joe." I felt Ranger stiffen slightly and patted his arm to reassure him. Walking over, I gave Joe a quick hug. "Like my handy work?"

"It's interesting. I'm guessing he really must have done something bad." I nodded and looked up at Lester.

"You want to tell Joe what you did? Or shall I?" I heard Les's muffled screams and watched him struggle some more. I lowered my gaze back to Joe. "He stole all my shoes and held them for ransom."

"That's it?" He asked, a little surprised.

I crossed my arms over my chest and frowned. "No. He tried to make me earn them back."

His voice became deep and angry. "How?" His caramel colored eyes flashed with anger.

"I had to wear a bikini and FMP's standing on the corner of Hamilton and Chambers last night holding a sigh that said 'Lester Santos is King'." Joe burst out laughing, doubled over and turned red. I stood there giving him my best Burg glare until he collected himself.

By this time, the majority of TPD were outside watching the scene unfold. As it was, a few of them seemed surprised that I wasn't the one strung up on the flag pole.

"What else did he have planned?" He asked, wiping tears away from his eyes.

"I don't know. I gave up. I told him it was on. I was going to get him back." I toed a pebble with my shoe. "Funny part is, this is only the beginning." Joe paled and patted Ranger on the shoulder.

"Dude. She's all yours now. Your girl, your problem." He chuckled and added, "Be sure to get him down before the chief gets back from his morning meetings. You have until noon." I glanced down at my watch and grinned. It was only 0840, we still had plenty of time.

"We'll have him down and out of here before then." Ranger answered, his normal blank face in place.

With a large group watching Lester twisting in the gentle breeze, I once again cupped my hands and shouted up to Lester. He wriggled himself around so he could see down at me. "Hey Les. Paybacks are a witch!" I gave him the universal sign of 'screw you', a stiff middle finger.

**A/N: So any ideas for a second round of payback against Lester? I'd love ideas, I'm running a little low here. Sorry it took so long for a new chapter. I've been fighting off the flu, besides working long hours everyday. So, I've really been too tired to do much of anything. Hope you like it.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own nor do I profit from Janet's characters. I'm just borrowing them for a while and I promise that I'll return them when I am done, and hopefully both Steph and Lester will still be in one piece.**

**A/N: Sorry it's taken so long to update with another chapter but I've had a really busy life lately. Besides, I've been wracking my brain for ideas for payback. I have to admit, I gave in and asked my co-workers for good ideas, and I have to say... I work with a REALLY sick bunch of people! I mean you have to be nuts to work at the Post Office, but I had no idea how many sickos there were! LOL I dedicate this chapter to my sisters and brothers in crime. BTW, I will be trying a few of the pranks at work in the near future... so as Ranger says, "Be aware of your surroundings, Babe!"**

**Chapter 5:**

SPOV

I knew Lester was still pissed at me when he didn't even return my phone calls this afternoon. We had lowered him to the ground still wrapped in duct tape and Lula's clothes, with not only a huge audience but with photographic evidence. Charlie Gomez, one of the CSI's for TPD, snapped a few shots of Les hanging, being lowered and standing waiting to be 'unwrapped'. He promised to send me copies via e-mail, and I had plans for them. Big plans. But that is for a later date.

My fingers flew over my phone's keyboard, typing a text to Les: **Be afraid! Be very afraid! I'm not dun yet... its only the beginning! **

Pressing send, I waited a moment before heading to the control room. Walking in, I found Bones and Chaz watching the monitors intently. "Hey, Bomber. Lester still pissed?" Bones asked, chuckling.

"Yep. He's still not answering my calls."

"Did you honestly expect him to be okay after that?" Chaz, asked, his eyes still trained on the huge banks of monitors laid out on front of him.

"Not really." I shrugged. "But he hasn't seen anything yet. That was just the begining." An evil little smile plastered across my face and I sighed. "I was wondering if you two would like to help me a little bit."

"I don't know, Bomber. Lester can still kick my ass on the mats." Chaz replied, leery of having a hand in my revenge plans.

"Puleese!" I groaned. "I've seen you on the mats. You kick ass." I planted my butt on the table behind the guys and proceeded to kick my feet back and forth gently. Thinking they would need a little incentive, I added, "I could make it worth your while."

Bones turned away from the monitors and stared me dead in the eyes. "What are we talking about?"

I rubbed my hands over my face and sucked in a deep breath. "Well, I could take your monitor or surveilance shifts for a week." I offered through gritted teeth. I hated to give so much, but I knew that the guys wouldn't cave if it were anything less.

Chaz quickly glanced at Bones, narrowing his eyes, deep in thought. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." I sighed. "I need your help or I can't pull it off."

The wide grins that covered their faces told me all that I needed to know about their participation. "Bomber, you don't have to do my shifts. I'll help you, if it means you'll go with me to an alumni event next month." Bones gave me a panty melting smile.

My eyebrows raised in confusion. "Alumni event?"

"Yeah. I played football in high school, and they want me to play in the alumni game. I wasn't going to go, but if you go with me I'll call coach back and tell him I'll be there."

"What's the catch?" I asked, hands on my hips, brows furrowed.

"You have to wear my old jersey." His quick answer made me a nervous. "And you have to cheer for me." The smile across my face was something to behold.

"I can do that. You know I was a majorette in high school?" I asked, with a giggle.

"No." Chaz rolled his eyes. "Were you one of 'those girls'?"

"What do you mean 'one of those girls'?" I sounded a little pissy.

"You know: stuck up, bitchy, popular?" I rolled my eyes, putting his previous one to shame.

"Please! I wasn't all that popular. Besides, I was nice to people like I am now. Except Joyce. She's always been a bitch and a skank."

"Well, if you agree to help me with my group one night, I'll take that as full payment for my services." Chaz stated, still watching the monitors.

"What group?" I asked, trying not to sound too nervous.

"I work with teens at the local teen center, usually it's just chilling out with them, playing a little basketball or helping them with homework." I stared at the back of Chaz's head like he was an alien. I had no idea that he was so involved with the locals, let alone local teens.

"I had no idea." I stammered, a little overwhelmed. "You sure you can trust me with such fragile minds?"

"Bomber, there's nothing that will faze these kids. Not even you. Most of them have had a really hard life and it's nice to give something back. Besides, they really are good kids. Trust me." I sighed and figured since they didn't need their diapers changed and they could feed themselves, I could probably manage a group of teens for an afternoon.

"I guess. I'll have to clear my schedule for that afternoon with Ranger."

"Good. He thought you'd love to help." I could see the reflection of his smile in the inky blackness of one of the monitors.

"He did?" I squeaked. Damn! I wish I had talked to Ranger before I had opened my big mouth and offered to cover their shifts for these guys.

"Yeah. He asked both Bones and I to help you in anyway you needed. I won't really hold you to helping me if you're not up for it."

I shook my head and threw a wad of paper at his head. "Oh, no! I offered and now you're just going to have to suck it up and deal with not only the kids but me too."

"Alright, if you say so." I shook my head and groaned. How could I go back on my word? I had to help him, just like I had to go with Bones to his football game. Although I had a feeling I'd like the game better than an afternoon with moody semi-adults. Oh well.

"Alright, now that's settled, I need you expertise in something."

LPOV

After cleaning all the make up and hair gel off, and changing into some normal street clothes, I high tailed it out of the Haywood building. How was I ever going to face anyone in Trenton again? Holy shit! I really pissed Beautiful off this time. I am royally screwed. I knew better than to mess with her shoes, but it had been to much of a temptation for me. I wanted to top her little cake stunt and thought I had. Until today. Shit! I am soooo screwed!

Downing the last of the contraband doughnuts I procured from the Tasty Pastry, I felt a little better and a little guilty. Damn I was going to have to do an extra two miles and another hour of cardio to get rid of the extra calories from that awesome chocolate cake I just inhaled. I decided that I had better try and catch some sleep before I had to report for duty tonight. Pulling up into my assigned parking spot near the back wall, I parked my Mustang and beeped the alarm. What?! Like I trust Binkie or Scorch near my car. I tugged the car cover over my baby and headed into the stairwell to four.

My eyes drooped and finally closed as soon as I sighed and rolled over onto my back. I finally was going to get some much needed peace and quiet.

RPOV

I should have told Babe that I had asked a few of my men to help her in her revenge against Santos. But I know she'll forgive me once she loses herself in planning. She is so hot when she's so devious. Although, I pray that I'm never the target of her revenge in the future. She's a little scary.

The computer screen on my desk showed Babe and a small army of my men lugging supplies to the hallway on four. Lord! What in the hell is she doing?! I am going to have to call a professional clean up crew after this latest prank is pulled. I some of the bottled liquids she has in her hands will take a long time to clean up after they're done. A quiet groan broke the silence of my office and I had to roll my eyes. Santos has no idea what he's in for.

SPOV

Before entering Les's apartment on four, I motioned for Bobby and Ram to take point. Ram turned the key in the lock and slowly opened the door. The relative silence of the apartment was broken by the soft snoring coming from the bedroom. We donned our night vision goggles and crept into the apartment. Tank watched our six as Bobby and Ram crept into the bedroom, Bobby holding a syringe full of his customized sedative concoction. On the silent count of three, both Tank and Ram jumped onto Les holding him down as Bobby injecting him with the fast acting sedative. I watched in fascination as they worked in complete silence, only communicating with hand gestures or ESP. Les shouted something along the lines of "Oh, Shi..." Then the sedative kicked in and he was out like a light.

Bobby checked Les's vitals and gave the thumbs up. "He's out."

"Alright. Call in the rest of the troops." I giggled in glee. "Time for Les to get what he deserves."

A few moments later, Tank tapped me on the shoulder, "Babygirl, we're ready."

"Alright, Ram. Can I have you and Woody cover the floors in the hallway, the front room and the bedroom with the PVC plastic?" They nodded and began their work. "Hector can I have you and Grizz install the laser beams?"

"Si, Estephanie." Hector dragged Grizz over to his box of electrical wonder gadgets and set themselves to work.

"Tank. I need you, Bones, Chaz, Binkie, Hal, Cal, Vince and Diaz to get the cars all set up."

Tank and the boys saluted me with smirks on their faces and raced out of the apartment. My hands soon found themselves clasped together, and an evil grin spread across my face. Yes... Yes! My plan is coming together. He is so going to pay for taking my shoes. Honestly, I could care less about my shoes right now. I was just hell bent on exacting revenge on Lester in any way, shape or form I could manage at this point. He had pushed me beyond my carefully crafted wall of control. The beast was now loose and it would not go away voluntarily unless it's appetite for revenge was sated. Damn! I sounded like some feral animal. Or worse... like a really pissed off Ranger.

"Bobby." He turned to see me holding a wicked looking dog collar.

"What the hell is that?" He nearly shouted, eyes wide with fear.

"It's a shock collar." Seeing his distress, I added. "Don't worry. Hector rigged it so that it doesn't give that bad of a shock. Honest!" I held it up and grinned.

"Uh huh. Like I'd believe that." He rolled his eyes. "If that thing shocks him with anything more than what it was originally intended, I'm going to hold it to you and let 'er rip!"

I shook my head and grinned. "Nope!" The 'p' popped and I giggled. "I promise it's harmless. It's just going to piss him off." He sighed and held his hand out. "It has to be ratcheted onto his neck, otherwise he'll get it off."

"You're evil, sick and twisted, Bomber." He shook his head as it dropped into his hands. "Sick and twisted."

Work on the apartment finished as soon as the last laser was installed and the last linear foot of PVC plastic was laid onto the ground.. We switched our attention to the hallway and lined the floors with more plastic, securing it the to baseboards with duct tape. Bobby installed the collar onto Les's neck, while I handed out paint rollers and brushes to the guys.

"What are these for Bomber?" Grizz asked as he eyed the paint roller in his hands.

"For the dish soap." My eyes had a crazed look and Hector slowly began to smile before he burst out laughing. Grizz, Ram and Woody all looked at him like he had lost it, until he spoke to them rapidly in Spanish, explaining what I had planned. Ram's loud and gut busting laughter rang in the apartment, followed by both Grizz's and Woody's laughs.

"See. It's genius, right?" I asked, handing them bottles of the soap.

"Genius, Bomber." Ram choked out through his laughter.

We spent the next half hour covering all the plastic sheeting with the soap, careful not to miss a single spot. Bobby double checked the time Les had been under and gave me a countdown. "Bomber, he'll come to in about ten minutes."

"Good, we should be done by then. If not..." I held up my stun gun, "I'll stun him like I did Hal."

"Hey!" Hal protested with a hurt look on his face.

"No worries Hal. I stunned you because I really liked you and didn't want you getting into to trouble with Ranger." I pointed the stun gun towards the back bedroom, "Now, Les... he's gonna get it for being a monumental ass. There's a difference."

Hal grinned and elbowed Cal, "I told you she loved me." Cal rolled his eyes and proceeded to 'paint' the viscous liquid onto the plastic.

Just as we had finished putting the finishing touches to the very end of the plastic nearest the stairwell, Hector indicated that the motion sensors in Les's bedroom were showing he was coming to. So I donned a pair of recently purchased golf shoes with neat little spikes on the bottom and snuck my way towards Les's front door. A disembodied groan came from the bedroom and within a few seconds I heard a gruff voice ask, "What the fuck?!" The sound of grunting and growling as Les was attempting to pull off his new necklace made me giggle and I heard him freeze, listening for it. I giggled slightly louder this time and I heard him shout. "Beautiful! What the fuck have you done?"

Answering him, I taunted Les with my not so innocent voice, "What's the matter Les, don't like your new jewelry? While you're trying to get it off, I think I'm going to go out for a drive tonight. By the way Les, how fast have you ever driven your baby? Bet I can get her over 120 mph."

His low menacing growl made me pale instantly. "The fuck you will!"

"Watch me." I positioned myself directly in front of his open front door, keys dangling from the end of my finger. At the first sound of him rolling off his bed onto the floor, I almost couldn't contain my laughter. I heard him slip and heard a loud thud as his ass made contact with the floor. "What's the matter Les?"

"What the fuck is wrong with this floor?" He seethed, venom dripping from his words. "What did you do?"

"Oh, nothing." I giggled again and waited for the next faze to kick in.

I heard him try to advance on the slippery plastic and knew the instant he had tripped the first laser sensor. "OUCH! FUCK! What the hell was that?"

"Kind of a shocking situation don't you think Les?"

"OUCH! Fuck! I'm so going to kill you!" I watched as Les slid along the floor on his belly into the bedroom doorway, his face contorted in pain as I knew the shock collar was working overtime with the amount of laser sensors he was tripping. His head twisted around enough to lock eyes with me and I gave him a little finger wave.

"Bye." I shook his keys, rattling them in the air. Taking off running down the hallway, the spikes from the golf shoes I was wearing, ensured I had sure footing. I heard cursing and the sounds of Les trying desperately trying to get into the hallway to chase me. I flipped the shoes off my feet, slammed the stairwell door open and ran down the stairs barefoot.

Poor Les. He was convulsing like a epileptic as he worked his way to the door, the shocks from the modified collar doing it's job perfectly. Planting a foot against the frame, he propelled himself into the hallway, crashing into the opposite wall with a loud crunch and large dent in the drywall. "Leave Baby alone!" Rubbing his head where it had impacted the wall and dented it, Les groaned. "Shit! Ranger's going to kill me for busting up his walls."

I managed to slide down the last bannister in the stairwell and came crashing through the door into the garage flagging a waiting Sabo in Les's Baby. The garage gate was open, Sabo revved the engine a few times, a sick smile covered his face. He scooted over allowing me to slide into the drivers seat as we waited for Les to appear at the stairwell door.

Sure enough, a minute and a half later, Les appeared in nothing but a pair of Smurf boxers and dish soap residue. I waved and revved the engine, before flooring it out of the garage. I had managed to fishtail the car sideways before straightening out and rocketing out of the garage. Les's tortured howl sounded into the night before he raced over to the nearest SUV, retrieved the keys from the sun visor, started the SUV and hightailed it after his precious Baby.

I managed to keep Lester on my six for the duration of the chase, until Tank's diversion sidetracked his chase of me. Tank had hired a buddy of his to effectively block Lester from chasing me with a well timed move with his garbage truck. Les slammed on the brakes as he skid to a halt in one of the many narrow alleys near Rangeman. I snickered as I could hear the live feed from the SUV coming in loud and clear through the speaker Hector had installed for the prank. "FUCK! What'd she do? Pay off the garbage man too?"

"He's backing out of the alley. And headed our direction." Sabo relayed to me from his position in the front passenger seat. His laptop was tracking the latest coordinates for the SUV Les was driving so we could effectively dodge him if needed. "Bomber1 to Bomber2. Target headed your way. ETA 45 seconds."

"Copy that Bomber2. We're ready." Tank's rich bass filtered over the secured radio frequency we were using.

I drove Les's baby into the rundown warehouse district in the seedier part of town and careened the car into an old 'abandoned' warehouse near the setup scene. It looked old and abandoned but it was a ruse. The inside was one of Rangeman's hidden storage facilities. It housed everything from cars to boats to motor homes to large crates filled with heaven knows what. I turned the car off and ran out into my position lying on the pavement a safe distance away from the car. Chance slid the warehouse door closed just as we heard the SUV down the street.

"Eagle to Bomber2. We have target in sight. ETA 10 seconds." Ram's voice rattled over the radio.

"Copy that." Tank answered, "FIRE IN THE HOLE! FIRE IN THE HOLE! AND 3...2...1! IGNITION!" I heard the 'foomp' of the gasoline catching fire under the decoy car sitting in the middle of the road. In the matter of half a second, the car lifted up about six feet into the air and it exploded, flipping onto it's roof just as Les's SUV came careening around the side of the warehouse. He slammed on the brakes and slid to a stop mere feet from the wreckage of the car. The dark night sky was lit up like the day with the resulting mushroom cloud from the explosion. Les tore out of the SUV as I sat up and watched the decoy car burn into oblivion.

"Beautiful?! Are you okay? Are you hurt? Please tell me you're not hurt!" He flung his arms around me after giving me a quick visual inspection. "Thank God! I thought I had lost you for a second there." He glanced from me to his car and began to whine, "My car! My fucking CAR! Shit! MY CAR!"

I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on tight, squeezing him tight. "I'm so sorry Les. I didn't mean to hurt you." My sobs were overpowering any further words. Thankfully, Ranger and the guys pulled up seconds later and surrounded us in a tight circle. The look I gave Ranger made him still for a moment, throwing him off guard for a split second. I think I just scared Batman! What?! It can happen.

Recovering quickly, he stated in a warm voice, "Babe. You never disappoint." His gave shifted to Lester. "Santos. I think you're going to need another car soon. This one's toast." He jerked his thumb towards the burned out shell of the mustang behind us.

Les shook his head while he sighed loudly. "It's only a car. I can get a new one. I never wanted anything to happen to Beautiful." Les dropped a kiss to the top of my head and I began to sob frantically, pointing my finger to the warehouse. Ranger and Tank did their silent EPS thing and Tank hauled Les to his feet and in the process me as well. I lunged into Ranger waiting arms as Tank slapped his arm over Lester's shoulder.

"Santos. I think you and Babygirl need to stop this little prank war you two have going. Next time, someone is going to get hurt."

Lester hung his head. "I never meant for anyone to get hurt. I just wanted to play around a little with Beautiful. She's so gullible sometimes, and it's almost too easy."

As I heard those words, I was able to turn off the waterworks and turned in Ranger's arms. "I'm gullible?" The shock and hurt in my voice spun Les around like a top.

"Beautiful. It's not like that. I love you and you're just so cute when you fall for stupid little things. It makes you cuter." He tried to explain without upsetting me again.

A slow lecherous grin spread across my face. "So... you think I'm cute when I'm stupid?"

Les realized he had verbally backed himself into a corner, so, he tried to backtrack. "Uh... Beautiful... what I meant was... shit! Someone help me out here." Les began to search the faces of the men surrounding us for some type of assistance. Finding none he just closed his mouth and tried to look innocent.

"Lucky I turned the wheel when I did. I fell out of the drivers seat and away from the car before it crashed. Guess it was one of those stupid little things, huh Les?"

"Beauti..." I held up my hand, effectively silencing him.

"It doesn't matter anymore. This Prank War is over." I held out my hand trying to get him to commit to a truce. "Truce?"

He glowered at me for a second before capturing my hand in his and shaking it gently. "Truce."

Ranger spun around to the men surrounding us, "Put 'er out, pull out Baby and lets go home. Babe is tired and Les has a hell of scare."

Confused, Les turned to look at me while I had a huge grin plastered onto my face. "Joke's on you Les." His jaw dropped as the door for the warehouse slid open to reveal his Baby, safe and sound.

"What the...?" He scratched his head, totally baffled as to what was happening. He spun around and pointed to the burned out wreckage sitting in the middle of the street. "You mean that wasn't Baby?" He swung his eyes around to mind.

A giggle escaped my lips before I could answer. "Nope. That's a decoy, a shell of a car we found. Baby's perfectly fine."

The realization that he had been 'had' crept up on him like molasses in winter, but when he finally made the connection and his brain was back in working order all hell broke loose. Les lunged at me, hands ready to choke me senseless, until Tank restrained him. "SANTOS!" Tank barked, "Get it together man. It was only a prank!" Les shut his mouth and huffed and puffed through his anger.

"Lester..." I held up my hands showing him I meant no more harm. "I think you better let Tank drive you and Baby back to Rangeman, you look a little upset." I allowed Ranger to walk me back to his SUV, all the while trying desperately not to laugh out loud at Les's reaction.

Ranger helped me into the front passenger seat then jogged around the front only to angle into the drivers seat. Making our way back to Rangeman, I finally had the courage to ask, "Did you get the clearance from TFD for the explosion?"

"Tank did. Told them it was a Rangeman training exercise. They okayed it since Tank mentioned that we were trying to teach you how not to blow up your vehicles." He chuckled and wrapped his hand over mine on my knee.

My lower lip stuck out, pouting at his explanation. "Well you suck." I retorted in the best barb I could muster. Damn, sometime in the near future I'm going to have to learn to verbally spar like an adult. Maybe. Maybe not.

"Babe. You're pulling the tiger's tail." His eyes darkened and his grip on my hand increased slightly, making me shiver in delight. Damn, he looks hot. "And if I remember correctly, you were the one sucking last time." The instant blush that flushed over my face gave him the gratification that, yet again, he had bested me.

Trying to change the subject to preserve my sanity and to prevent me from jumping his bones in the SUV, I asked, "So, you think it was a success?"

"The prank or the sucking?" He teased.

"Carlos!" I hissed, clearly embarrassed. "The prank."

"Yes. He clearly was shocked and never expected you to pull off something this elaborate or devious." He pulled into the underground parking garage for Rangeman and pulled into his assigned spot next to the elevator. Turning in his seat after he killed the engine, "Babe. Promise me something..."

"Sure." I was trying to concentrate on a non existant piece of lint stuck to my cargo pants, to avoid his gaze.

"Never let me piss you off so badly you feel the need to retaliate against me like you did Santos." Meeting his stare, I grinned my evil little smile.

"Then don't piss me off Ricardo Carlos Manoso and you won't have to worry." I taunted.

"Babe."

"What?" I replied with a grin.

**A/N: Like I said at the beginning of this chapter, my co-workers were the inspiration for the tidbits of information for this prank. They are some really evil and devious people. But I love 'em! Please review, I'd love to her what you think.**


End file.
